Skip to main content

dis:integration

opposite of integration

Now that we have talked about goodness in context, I would also describe what goodness out of context does. This is the initiator of all disintegration.
First I would have to confess my own idolatry, the source of my blindness. Control & knowledge, beauty and pleasure. I think we make idolatry out to be a much more complicated thing than it is in order to do as we please; I know I did. To sense a need is not idolatry. It's the vulnerability embedded in every being in order that we seek our Source.

Because every Good Thing is an acknowledged gift, it's a lot harder for me now to abuse them for my own pleasure. Why would you care that much about indulging pleasure? 

Every unholy appetite that is FED becomes an idol which overpowers me

It is the reason we were made with appetites for the body, mind and spirit. The body's fundamental need is food. The mind's fundamental need is wisdom. The spirit's fundamental need is intimacy.
In Eden, God established Himself as the Integral Source of these needs. What the serpent did was insert a very subtle separation. Check out what Eve's desires looked like.

I had thought it was cruel for God to even put the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the garden. If he was so set on perfection, why would he put temptation in the middle of it? Because without a choice, there is no real relationship. They had an option to receive full goodness, without inhibition, shame, fear...but idolatry stole this. How? The same embedded desires that would have drawn Eve to God Himself were subtly separated from their intent, undermined by a simple question of fullness.

To take what is good, or what one needs or desires, separate from a gift from the Source--is idolatry. You will begin to notice this trademark of separation in everything Satan does. What is separate from life is dead.

Any gift God has offered has undergone this same disintegration from its intent as a gift from God: sex, wealth, food, connection. It's easy to tell the difference between the act of sitting in a person's living room to talk and scrolling their instagram feed. The difference is integral. One engages life, one is separate from it.

But humans, when we sense need and are disintegrated from our Source, we get under one of two yokes.
Religion
and
Indulgence.

One is not preferable to the other. They are both slavedrivers.

The idol of control and knowledge lead to the slavery of religion
The idol of pleasure leads to the slavery of indulgence

Fear and shame come from both.

Eve's disintegration initially came from a desire to have [for herself] Good Things.

Think about the knowledge aspect of that fruit. A desire to have for ourselves knowledge about food and disease has created more problems than it has solved. What if we put our bodies in context as His creation so that all the wisdom we receive about food and the body is direct from manufacturer?

God put Adam and Eve in a garden full of fruit trees. Yet listen to us: "You shouldn't have more than 24 grams of sugar a day, limit your fruit intake, don't eat grains....." 

Do not be wise in your own eyes.
All I thought I knew about food wasn't completely false but it was completely out of context. 

There are really only two choices, in food, in relationships, in parenting. Life or death. What is separated from itself is dead. What has been given life by God is a Good Thing. In order to steward the Good Thing that is my body, it makes perfect sense to receive Good Things that He has offered for that purpose. I think we all know when we are being mastered, and that's a characteristic of something that's disintegrated. It usually becomes an unmanageable desire.

This is why the body matters. Desires are carried out in the body. Appetites are fed in the body. Sin is agreed to in the mind and accomplished by the body.

So they say now that fat is good. Without going deep into the law, it is interesting to me that God directed the fat to be offered to Him. Why was this such a test of their faithfulness?  Because our disintegration shows up in the appetite to take [for ourselves] what is good.

I noticed every evening as I would wait for my husband to come, how my tension created an appetite for pleasure. Without really thinking, I would {take for myself} a piece of butter.

What happens when an attitude, an unholy attitude is fed fuel? It then gains strength over the ability to reject the sin it will produce, resulting in death--separation from God. Every slice of butter I took in while feeling out of control (rather than humbly receiving it as training) provided actual fuel for the impatience, the anxiety, the anger to control me. Eating butter can result in further disintegration. Disintegration. Whatever is separated from itself is dead. "The mind dominated by the flesh (physical being) is death, the mind under the authority of the Spirit is life and peace"

You know how it is when your kids think they know what's best. This is why it's such a gift to be a parent...you get a chance to see how silly we must seem as we declare how well we know our own bodies, how sickness works, how the miracle of birth works...

Our knowledge has created our fear, and the only answer to the depth of our disintegration is integral faith.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Truth or Tradition?

 Seven years ago, our family began observing what we call Teshuah . I liked the seven letter word because it filled out my chalkboard calendar nicely. The third week in February, both in 2014 and in 2016, we were delivered out of very difficult situations. The first was a mortgage we couldn't pay for a house we couldn't afford to fix according to HOA standards and a commute we couldn't sustain. We now acknowledge that our difficulties stemmed from idolatry, coveting, and lack of discipline/wisdom. The second, a little house so full of mold that I had not been able to fully breathe in the two years we lived there, ending with a rat in the crawlspace which was only evacuated by a hot water leak that steamed up through a vent straight to the attic, condensing all that water over our belongings, which then molded. Masked, I threw out a massive portion of our baby things, crying and wondering what we should do. He provided. That's what. He moved us to the cape cod on Dellros

Power and Protection

  This morning, as I thanked  יהוה ‎  for His perfect knowledge and order in knitting together the new person within my womb a scripture from Proverbs came to mind: “The Lord by wisdom founded the earth, By understanding He established the heavens.”  Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭19‬  Then this morning, the Spirit took me to Jeremiah, & I heard this echo:  “It is He who made the earth by His power, Who established the world by His wisdom; And by His understanding He has stretched out the heavens.”  Jeremiah‬ ‭10‬:‭12‬ ‭‬ As the only One competent and capable of creating the heavens and the earth, designed the human body in its completeness and all life and symbiotic relationships between every living thing, isn’t it preposterous to believe that He should need our supervision ensuring His work is good?  ““Woe to the one who quarrels with his Maker— An earthenware vessel among the vessels of earth! Will the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you doing?’ Or the thing you are making say, ‘He has no ha

food is prophecy.

What if you walked into the market and all you saw was bananas? Or maybe just banana chips? Stale, dried out versions of something once living, sweet but a little like cardboard. Here is what I keep hearing about the Spirit of God. Fresh. Alive. Hydrating. Nourishing. EVERYTHING EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR. You guys...can we shatter the light show and cut the drama? We do not need to enhance  the incredible richness and glory of God. It doesn't look anything like a show. I have to be brutally honest. If I found myself enhancing  something, I can point at that thing now and tell you it was because I sensed my own lack and felt responsible for it. I've had experiences at churches like walking into a store with only banana chips. At some point, that fruit was attached to a tree somewhere but what I see before me is shelf-stable mimicry. You have to watch out for pockets of people that seem to all be displaying the same kind of fruit that isn't very vibrant. You kind of sense