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Showing posts from January, 2019

spit it out.

Mothering must be one of the most enlightening of ways to exult  under the light and easy yoke of the discipline of Jesus. Yuck, Kaede. That's ugh. Rocks are yuck. Spit it out. No demanding. No grabbing. No fear. No informational lectures. I have something wonderful for you. That right there is nothing. PTHHHH. Spit it out. Come. Lets have lunch.


❃But you have upheld me because of my integrity , and set me in your presence forever.  Psalms 41:12  ❃The righteous who walks in his integrity — blessed are his children after him!  Proverbs 20:7  ❃Vindicate me, O Lord , for I have walked in my integrity , and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.  Psalms 26:1  ❃He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity ,  Proverbs 2:7  ❃I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.  Psalms 101:2‭-‬3 My understanding of integrity  was flawed. I thought it just meant honest, true, keeping your word. It's actually being in agreement, unity of the Spirit, with God. Mind. Body. Spirit.  Everything a person does flows from this. I went to yoga teacher training. I believe that God orchestrated

real bread.

Here again, sowing words.  He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to see the sun. -eccl. 11:4-7 My fascination with authentic  bread is no secret. What I have just now come to understand is the gift of the Spirit  for perceiving authenticity, driven by a passion for integrity. Getting to the root. ζύμη ἄρτος Here is good news. Bread is a Good Thing. "As often as you do this." These words came as I was nursing my baby to sleep last night. Being always ready to eat a Word, I pursued it but the Spirit wanted it to soak in while I slept I guess because I coul

food is prophecy.

What if you walked into the market and all you saw was bananas? Or maybe just banana chips? Stale, dried out versions of something once living, sweet but a little like cardboard. Here is what I keep hearing about the Spirit of God. Fresh. Alive. Hydrating. Nourishing. EVERYTHING EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR. You guys...can we shatter the light show and cut the drama? We do not need to enhance  the incredible richness and glory of God. It doesn't look anything like a show. I have to be brutally honest. If I found myself enhancing  something, I can point at that thing now and tell you it was because I sensed my own lack and felt responsible for it. I've had experiences at churches like walking into a store with only banana chips. At some point, that fruit was attached to a tree somewhere but what I see before me is shelf-stable mimicry. You have to watch out for pockets of people that seem to all be displaying the same kind of fruit that isn't very vibrant. You kind of sense


What is it about the sun? The word sun  in many languages is much like solo, or only. Yesterday I heard "firstborn of all creation". Nothing could live in this formless, shapeless watery abyss until the Son  was begotten. The Son of God, our real  source of energy. Isn't it fascinating that every food that gives us all that we need is living in the light? Isn't it just like humans to assume that flesh=strength  when in reality light/life  is strength? What seems logical and scientifically proven--that we have a number of molecules of protein required for life and strength  might be a lot of mortal rubbish. What the world considers foolishness, is more probable than possible. Thoughts transmit energy. Movement transmits energy. I've enjoyed some root digging  in the form of Hebrew and Greek meanings. This one today filled my heart to the brim, it is all I've been trying to repeat. He called me a ruminant, which was funny considering a few days ag

in Christ, complete.

" Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the earth and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." Back in October, when I turned 30, I was obsessed  with figuring out integral bread. Integral refers to bread made with the entire grain once threshed. The mineral-rich  components still present, the hydration  still present, and therefore the energy  from the light of the sun still present. Integral. Lacking nothing. In bread, crushed grain is brought to life in order to nourish. This is the reason breaking bread has become a significant rendering of faith in our home. Here is today's daily bread. Isn't it a Good Thing?  Every offering rendered is first a gift to us.  How He lavishes! Isn't it revealing that no formula I researched could achieve the goodness that staying present to the Holy Spirit  offers? Isn't it revealing that this particular part of the Lord's Prayer is the part that confounds theologians because of their


The ones that were so unable to accept the mystery of Jesus were the ones who thought they knew what God wanted. Some versions refer to them as " religious scholars". There is only one way to know what God actually desires. Give Him attention. Why is it that it's so hard to stop and pay attention to the Life that gives me breath? Water? Food? Children? I am coming to understand that every compensation I make using my idea  of what holiness is, what faith is, comes from a discomfort with mystery. My son was reading a book about hurricanes. It fascinates me how humans will categorize things like this with numbers, after the fact, in order to try to maintain illusions of control the next time , only to be proven they were wrong about the category, the landfall, and pretty much everything else. We are super uncomfortable with mystery. No one seems to be able to wait even one minute for information or affirmation about unknowns of pregnancy. Does our obsession with


His wisdom comes to my mind through analogy  and all that's required is complete attention and willingness to receive something good  when it looks or feels  bad. One leg day at the gym, I stepped under the bar for squats. For some reason, I really hate them. Part of it is that I refuse to waste my time, so I don't cheat the weight or the depth, so I know it's going to be hard. I heard the words " work out your salvation with fear and trembling". Suddenly the "yoke" part made so much sense. Even though I do not enjoy the sensations of squats I willingly submit to them every week. With full engagement and attention...any distraction robs me of the effect I am after. One evening while making dinner, waiting (with tension) to hear from my husband when he would be coming, I heard "deliverance isn't a magic trick, it's obedience." So often would I beg God for patience, and felt like He failed me because I wasn't experiencing the rest H


His life. Living  animate. dynamic. growing. freshness. possessing Life of the Word-Origin Integral complete. lacking nothing. all components present. full being integrity. agreement. Faith strength in conviction. Origin is God. confidence. persuaded. immersed.  Energy  fullness. water. light.  stamina. fuel. vibration.  Consumption habits do not change the value of a person. They do not alter the state of holiness  by Christ. Yet  what I consume reveals the placement of my confidence. My consumption is the root of my -ease or dis-ease -contentment or discontent -fullness or hunger -efficiency or deficiency -attraction or distraction -abundance or poverty  I'd heard deface. In currency, the United States code prohibits the defacement  of coins as property of the government. "Render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's"  Until recently, I had seen New Testament scripture as  directive  rather than  diagnosis.  I inherited a type of


Show me the coin for the tax." And they brought him a denarius . And Jesus said to them, "Whose likeness and inscription is this?" They said, "Caesar's." Then he said to them, "Therefore render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." When they heard it, they marveled. eikṓn , (the Greek root of icon)-- the word "likeness" above assumes a prototype, of which it not merely resembles, but from which it is drawn; Image then exactly reflects its source. epigraphé,  an inscription, written upon ( The Pharisees doubtlessly were familiar with Isaiah 49:16) Maybe my focus was on the Caesar and tax part of what Jesus said, but suddenly now, I also marvel! I read some of Leviticus. The fat of animals was burnt as offerings for sin. It reminded me of rendering  tallow. To render is to make it give up or yield. Render to God what is God's.  Yield. This word holds two meanings: bear